Thursday, June 14, 2012

My Love Rant


The above video was posted by a friend of mine on his Facebook today and it reminded me of how reprehensible the "I have a gay friend" homophobes are. I commented on the Facebook link with my own assertion that the only thing worse than homophobes who cite their "gay friend" as a negation for their bigotry are those who mention their gay family members in the same light. To me, the worst part about these assertions is the fact that they are almost inevitably followed by "and I love them! But..."

I actually had a friend say right to may face once "I have two gay uncles and I love them! They're awesome, but I just don't think they should have the right to get married."

What? I'm sorry, but this is not love. Love involves valuing a person as much as or more than oneself and demonstrating this in one's words and actions. It involves respecting that person, even if they disagree with you. It involves standing up for that person's right to make their own choices even if those choices aren't yours. If you argue against another person's rights or disrespect them for one of their intrinsic qualities, you do not love them, period.

Though this is not always the case, I find that this re-branding of the word "love" often ties in with conservative Christian dogma. For many who make use of this re-branding, the new definition of "love" also includes physically striking one's children for disobedience, turning out said children if they come out as gay or atheist in their teens, eternal torture for those who disobey their deity and misinforming friends and family so that they may never stray from your standards.

This isn't love. This kind of behavior renders the concept of love meaningless. It should be repugnant to those of us who are willing to struggle, sacrifice and put time and energy into our loved ones, even if we don't always agree with them. If you insist on being a bigot, a fundamentalist whack-job or a jerk and then call that behavior "love", you seriously need to rethink your life. You make me ill. 

1 comment:

  1. The best definition of "love" that I have seen is by Robert Heinlein - and I quote this often:
    "Love is that condition is which the happiness of another person is essential to your own."

    It's so simple and elegant. It encompasses the give and take, the selflessness and the selfishness of love. You give joy not just to make the other happy, but because you also delight in their happiness.

    My understanding of love just doesn't jive with the guy who tells his favorite Uncle "Yo unc, you're swell and all, but when you do finally find 'THE ONE' - and you want to make the commitment to spend the rest of your lives together, and want your relationship to have the respect, recognition and legal rights of any other couple out there ... well ... HA-HA, FUCK THAT cuz ya'll got the same plumbing downstairs!!"

    So many people confuse love with lust and marriage with sex, while completely lacking any kind of empathy whatsoever. I don't know ... I dunno where I'm going with that.
    I guess it's just that Love was so eloquently defined by a sci-fi author that it puts the 1 Corinthians 13 "Love is patient Love is kind" to shame.

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